In Which Tenten finds a Diary
by Strawberry Alacrity
Summary: We all know that 'guy finds girl's diary and then there's a happy ending'. Mmm...well, let's reverse that a bit. How bout Girl finds guy's diary? NejiTenten warning: EXTREME randomness DISCONTINUED
1. In Which Tenten Finds the Diary

Well, This is my first real humor story, You guys know how all these guy finds girls diary, and they somehow get together stories? And how a lot of them are usually Neji/Ten? Well, think about if Tenten found Neji's diary! 

Disclaimer… I don't own Naruto; I'm just a kid trying to pass English…. And a schizophrenic...

* * *

The contents of this diary are the property of Hyuuga Neji… 

Tenten stared at the page, confused. How had this happened?

Somehow, sitting on the bed in front of her was the Diary of Neji. Yes, The Hyuuga Neji.

She didn't even know he _kept_ a diary…I mean we're talking about _Neji _here! That's just weird.

Some would have said she had 'stolen' the little book…Tenten preferred to say borrowed for an unknown amount of time. And he would probably never get it back. The diary would probably be read over a million times by Tenten, copied and sold on the black-market, used to blackmail Neji with, and the reproduced and published, making the hobo who found it extremely rich. But she had NOT stolen it! She was simply …being charitable to the many hoboes' of the world! Yeah, that would be it!

The temptation was too great to resist, and the weapons mistress repeated to herself

'No Tenten, don't flip the page Tenten…I said NO Tenten! Sit Girl! No! Down Girl!…. ZOMFG!! GET YOUR HAND AWAY FROM THAT PAGE RIGHT NOW MISSY!!!….'

Yes, by now, most people have realized that Tenten is probably a kleptomaniac, has a split personality, and…Well half of herself is like a second mother. Weird.

But the next thing will shock you even more: The first page was covered in doodles of puppies, kittens, bunnies, and all other manners of cute little animals. There was also a pile of bones in the corner. Tenten blinked, just a little freaked out. But the chicken scratch on the page freaked her out even more.

_Dear Diary,_

_My name is Hyuuga Neji. Although you may be just a little book, I don't like you. When Hinata gave you to me on my birthday, I was tempted to throw you in the fire, but I feared it would hurt Hinata's feelings. So I have kept you. And I shall write in you, because Hinata may have placed spies in my house. Yes, she does do that sometimes._

_I hate you._

_Neji._

Tenten blinked.

_'Hinata has…spies?'_

And she flipped the page.

_Dear dumb Diary,  
I hate you. But, as I am bored, I shall describe my team. I shall start with my sensei. _

_  
Might Gai.  
He wears much spandex. And apparently loves green. I secretly call him 'Jolly Green Monster'. Yes he has some odd obsession with Youth. It is rather disturbing really… _

Rock Lee  
He is also rather disturbing. He is like a clone of Gai sensei. Minus the Jounin (**A/n Sp?) **vest. He also loves 'the youth'. I call him 'Jolly green #2' He is also in my opinion quite girlish. I mean yesterday, he was talking to my third teammate, Tenten, and he was blabbering about SHOES. I could tell Tenten wasn't listening.

Tenten:

_She is my only female teammate. We call her 'The Weapons Mistress'. She loves combat. She has brown hair and brown eyes. Her hair is always up in buns. One day, I couldn't focus, because I was thinking about how it would look down…I really like Tenten…a lot…_

_Diary, I know you are an inanimate object, but if you tell anyone about my feelings, I shall stab you numerous times with a kunai. Then throw many shurikan at you. Along with many other weapons._

_If you were another ninja, I would rip you're heart out and feed it to Akamaru. But as you are a small irrelevant book, I shall settle for letting Sasuke burn you, I hear he is quite the pyro. So you won't tell._

_I hate you more than I hated you yesterday._

_Neji._

Tenten stared at the page, her face heating up.

'_Neji...Likes…Me? Wow….'_

That night Tenten fell asleep, the diary clutched against her chest, and a smile on her face.

* * *

Woot! Fluffy ending! Well, if you guys like this, _please _review!!

Till Next Time!!

R&R!


	2. A Day In The Life Of Team Gai

Huzzah! I have updated!! Sorry about the late one guys, but I was working on Azerothean Adventures...which next to no one likes...-

-cries-

I don't really think this is as funny as chapter one, but tell me what you think!

Thanks A TON for all the reviews! You make me feel all warm and fuzzy XD

Disclaimer: I don't...stinkin' own Naruto...

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Tenten's eyes snapped open as her alarm clock rang/yelled at her in a shrill voice.

"Get out of bed now! GET OUT OF BED OR I SHALL THROW THAT DIARY OUT THE WINDOW!!!"

She jumped up and attempted to strangle the little machine…before she realized that it was almost impossible, as it was a machine, not a person, thus impossible to strangle.

"HA! I knew you couldn't hurt me! I'm so much better than all of the other clocks!"

Tenten grunted as the clock continued to wallow in its pathetic glory. Suddenly, rather randomly, she turned around and began to brutally beat and stab the arrogant machine with a kunai.

As it lay in twitching pieces on the floor, Tenten mentally smacked herself. (**A/n: Wow! Alarm clocks can twitch!…Or can they? –Wiggles eyebrows and tries…unsuccessfully…to look 'cool'-) **

"Damn! That's the Thirtieth one this month! GAH! Stupid clocks! You're making me go broke!!!!!!!" She shrieked, successfully making a few mice go deaf. She gasped in horror.

"Omigod! I'm _so _sorry Stuart!" She cooed, cuddling a rather wicked looking rat. It simply hissed and began to nibble the remains of the clock. Sighing, she stood up, brushing herself off, went to her closet and placed a new clock on the nightstand. Catching sight of the new alarm clock, she screamed.

"WHAT!!! I'M TWO STINKIN HOURS LATE FOR TRAINING!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

With that said…erm…yelled actually…Well with that yelled, Tenten dashed into the closet.'

What she didn't know was that the clock was actually 2½ hours ahead of Konoha time.

Neji looked up, impassive as usual. That is until he saw what stumbled into the clearing.

Tenten jumped into the training spot, clothes disheveled, and pulling on one shoe. There were dark circles under her eyes and her snarled hair was out of it's usual buns. Lee jumped up to greet her.

"GOOD MORNING OH YOUTHFUL TEAMATE TEN---"

He was interrupted by a growl, as Tenten gave him the bird. He immediately burst into anime tears and curled into a ball. Neji raised an amused eyebrow.

"Tenten…why are you here this early? You usually never are."

She looked confused.

"B-but it's 8:30? I'm late aren't I?"

"No…. it's _5:30. _You're half an hour early."

Tenten stared at him unblinking.

"Serious?" her lip began to tremble, but no one noticed.

"Very serious."

At that Tenten burst into tears, sobbing her heart out. Neji stood there, at loss for what to do. Finally he leaned down and awkwardly patted her back.

"Erm…. There…. there…Hn…" He muttered, twitching a bit. Just then Gai sensei bounced in, shouting the mornings usual greeting.

"GOOOD MORNING MY WONDERFUL YOUTHFUL STUDENTS OF YOUTHFUL YOUTHFULLY YOUTH YOUTHFULLYNESS YOUTH…. YOUTH YOUTHY YOUTHFULLNESS YOUTH! YOUTH! YOOOOUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUTHFULLY YOUTH-?"

He stopped seeing the scene before him. Two students were crying their eyes out, while the other was embarrassedly comforting one of the crying one. He listened to Lee's sniffling tale, and turned to Tenten.

"Tenten…?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, she took off, wailing like a banshee. Her male teammates stood there, dumbfounded by her performance.

Tenten sniffled and settled down in her bed with a five-galleon container of ice cream and a large spoon. Wiping her eyes she drew the diary out from under her pillow with a grin.

"I knew my crying would them! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

With the evil laughter out of her system, she turned the page.

Dear Diary 

_Me no like you. Just to let you know and all. I REALLY actually hate you._

_Today we had training, as always. For some reason Kiba came running through the grounds, with Akamaru in his arms. He then yelled._

"_NO! NEVEEEERRRRR!!! AKAMARU AND I WILL NEVER SURRENDER!!!!! WE ARE MANLY MEN!!! WE DO NOT TAKE BATHS!!!!"_

Tenten smirked. She remembered that.

Tenten tripped him, and he fell in the dirt. His crush, some kuniochi, then started to spray him with a hose…how the hose reached out here, I shall never know…. Hn.

This time, Tenten laughed aloud. THAT was the part she remembered. Kiba started crying….

Many other strange and deranged people ran through that day also. One of them was Naruto, pleading for Sakura not to hurt him. Apparently, he had placed a worm on Sasuke's head, and Uchiha started screaming like a little girl. Ha. But Naruto pushed Tenten out of the way and she fell.

On top of me.

For some reason I felt unreasonably happy.

And very Jaraiya like.

You stink Diary. I hate you.

Neji.

Tenten started dancing upon her bed, spilling ice cream everywhere.

"WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!"

**Elsewhere, location unknown.**

"Spy…. Neji has not been writing lately. Why?" A cloaked figure asked.

"I do not know Master…" Said the black clothed 'Spy'.

"Hmmm…. Find out…or I shall blackmail you for life! MWAHAHAHA!!"

The hood fell back, revealing…

Hinata?

"Y-yes Ma'm!!!"

* * *

Wierd ending, ya? Till next time!! R&R!! 


	3. In which we have a SLEEPOVER!

ZOMFG!! I'm so sorry I haven't updated! Don't Hurt me! And this chapter isn't funny! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Anyway…SANJAYA IS OFF AMERICAN IDOL!! WOOOO Sorry to his fans….but his hair irritated me. A lot. Lol.

Happy Earth Day! I got to drive a tractor around today, picking up trash hehe. Picture it.

Me. I looked badass in my straw hat, plaid farmer shirt and brown shorts. (it was too cold for shorts) on a 55 year old tractor, that's rusty with a little 4th grader sitting on the side. (seriously…he's a mini munchkin! I'm like 5'4" and he's only up to my like waist!)

We were driving down the middle of the road and looked coolio XD

Well….anyway..again thanks to all those reviewer from last authors note! You made me happy D Too many names to list, but otherwise I would. Heh

Okay, just mentioning that everyone is in between 18-20 in this story….and they act 4-8 yrs old lol

ONTO THE STORY!!!!

Disclaimer: I Don't own Naruto. Bite Me. If you don't have rabies of course!

Thoughts- _ITALICS!!! _

Neji's inner self- **_GASP BOLD ITALICS!!! _**

**Lyrics- M**_ORE ITALICS!!!! _

_And...I FIGURED OUT HOW TO GET AROUND THE DOCUMENT UPLOADER WHICH WON'T LET ME UPLOAD ANYTHING! MWAHAHAHA_

_I admit it...Im a spaz_

* * *

Tenten groaned and rolled over, pressing the pillow over her head as the phone. After the first ten calls she realized the caller wasn't going to go away. 

Of course she still didn't pick up! She _is _a procrastinator, though not to the level Shikamaru is. (Duh XD)

After call number….probably 95, she screamed and picked up the phone.

"WHAT!!!!" She shrieked into the phone. "AFTER THE FIRST THREE CALLS YOU SHOULD HAVE REALIZED I WASN'T GOING TO PICK UP!!!"

"Aw…but I know you Tenny." A voice said sweetly. Tenten scowled and sat on her bed.

"What do you want Ino" She growled, calming now that the initial psycho 'I'm going to kill you' stage was out of her system. At least for now.

"Well, we heard about what happened to you at training yesterday. With the crying an' all. Lee told us."

Tenten's 'I'm going to kill you stage' was back and she began to formulate Lee's painful death.

"So, who's 'we'" She asked, trying to stay calm. She could tell Ino knew Tenten was getting angry and was enjoying it.

"Hinata, Sakura, Temari, Haruka and maybe Mizu….We're going to have a sleepover party to comfort you!"

Tenten blinked. "Your solution for everything is a sleepover isn't Ino? I'm not going."

There was a feral growl of a mad (rabid) girl on the other line. "Oh, you're going to go. And you're going to like. Or I'm going to show all of Konoha these pictures I have of you shopping at….(scary music plays in background) DAVIDS BRIDAL!!!!"

(A/n I went there cuz I was the bridesmaid in my cousins wedding….My mom kept making me try on all these dresses –shivers-)

Tenten paled as the line went dead. She had to get packing. Ino ruined Sasuke's life by putting pictures of him wearing a pink tutu in the paper.

Talk about holding a grudge about being rejected.

--------------------------

Tenten had resist the urge to run as she hears someone shout 'I got it Dad!' as she rang the doorbell . Ino opened the door, Sakura, Hinata, Temari and Haruka behind her. Peeking past them she saw Mizu- tied to the chair, duct tape over her mouth looking panicked. Ino squealed happily.

"Tenny! You got here just in time! We're doing make-overs!"

Hearing the word dreaded by every tomboy, 'makeover', Tenten fled, running as fast as she could. She wasn't fast enough though, loaded down with her bags and Sakura 'poofed' in front of her and dragged her back to the Yamanaka house, kicking and screaming.

After an intense struggle, they had Tenten strapped to a chair next to Mizu. Ino clapped her hands happily.

"Okay, makeover time! Tenten you can go second since you got here second. Mizu, you go first!" Removing the gag from Mizu's mouth, Ino continued. "Okay, we'll be right back so don't move you two!"

Tenten glanced over at Mizu. "I'm scared Mizu-chan." She whimpered. Mizu shivered.

"Join the club Tenten" She muttered, grimacing. Tenten smirked at the tomboy.

"I'll try to untie your ropes if untie mine…" She offered. Mizu grinned.

"Deal."

----------------------------

After a few minutes where they thought they wouldn't be able to untie the ropes, they actually managed to. Amazing ain't it? Mizu and Tenten slowly snuck out the door, freezing when they were in the kitchen and Ino's dad saw them. He simply raised an eyebrow, grinned, and waved them on. Tenten had to stop herself from cheering and held it down. She couldn't keep it down any longer, and Tenten shouted with glee.

"WOOHOOO!!! FREEDOOOOOOM!!! IT TASTES SO GOOD!!!"

Tenten, realizing what she had done, paled with fear again. (A/n hmm…fear…FEARETH!)

Mizu instinctively hit the ground dragging Tenten with her. (Ah those good old ninja instincts). Above them they could hear Ino, Sakura, and Haruka open the window, then Ino's puzzled voice.

"Hm…I swear I thought I heard something that sounded like Tenten….Oh well. Probably a squirrel."

Then Haruka, "A squirrel…A RABID squirrel!!!"

There was a collection sighs from the girls, and then Sakura spoke. "We should probably check up on them anyway."

There was a chorus of agreements and then the window closed. Mizu and Tenten glanced at each other and the same thought ran through their heads.

RUN LIKE HELL!

Kiba yawned glancing at Neji who looked rather agitated. Grinning he poked him lightly. The Hyuuga jumped about thirty thousand miles in the air, screaming like a small child. A girly girl small child to be exact. And a satellite got a picture of it. Ooohh this was going to make the front page…..

When he landed he saw Naruto rolling on the floor laughing, Sasuke raising an eyebrow and Shikamaru….sleeping. Of course there was also Kiba whistling innocently. Neji growled. "Who was that?"

Kiba shrugged. "Tenten?"

Neji's eyes widened. "SHE DOESN'T HAVE MY DIARY! I THINK!"

The guys just stood opened mouthed. "Diary? YOU have a _diary?"_

Neji paled much like Tenten had. "You never heard that. Just pretend."

Of course they all broke into laughter, and Neji burst into tears which stopped them. Kiba looked at Neji who curled into a ball.

"Dude, did someone put estrogen in your drink or something?"

At that word Naruto paled and shifted uncomfortably. _Estrogen? I thought that was sugar…or flour…or something! Ah…darn…Neji gonna kill me._

Neji sniffled and wiped his eyes. "No….But someone stole my diary!" He wailed. The guys simply blinked and edged away slowly in the 'We don't know him' way.

Just then they stared down the road unanimously to see two girls racing down the street. Attempting to slide to a stop, Tenten stopped a few inches from Neji's face, while Mizu fell in a tangled heap with Kiba. She stared into his eyes for a moment, he blushed from the fact that he was lying on top of her, and she blushed too. Then Mizu's eyes widened and she screamed. "Pervert!"

Kiba opened his mouth. "No, pervert would be Jiraiya and" He began to gape like a fish out of water as she kneed him between the legs. She frowned, standing up, as he fell to his knees. Finally after a few minutes he groaned.

"I feel like I'm gonna be sick man. My stomach freaking hurts like hell." He whispered. Mizu looked apologetic.

"Ehm…sorry…instinct…" she muttered. He was about to respond, standing up, when they heard more footsteps. Everyone turned to see Ino, Temari, Sakura, Hinata, and Haruka standing there tapping their feet angrily. Mizu grinned uneasily.

"So...how 'bout them Red Sox?"

-------------------------

Once again they were strapped to the chairs as Ino advanced upon them, make up in hand. Screams emitted from the house for a few minutes until everything went silent.

Deadly silent.

---------------

"Okay guys! Let's play truth, dare, or electric chair!" Sakura yelled, dragging Tenten and Mizu behind her. When they formed a circle, Mizu and Tenten sat back , sulking.

Tenten had her hair brushed out of their usual buns, and was wearing silky green pajamas with a glittery dragon winding up the side. Ino , and had applied light green eye shadow, and pink lipstick, and blush.

Mizu had had her light brown hair brushed until shiny, and her side-bangs brushed partially over one eye. She was wearing black short-shorts and a grey t-shirt that said 'I make boys cry' in silver glitter. Sakura had put silver eye-shadow on her as well as glittery lip gloss and blush.

"So, you can go first Meez!"

Mizu frowned. "Electric chair, I guess….What is it?"

Temari grinned. "You get to do both Truth _and _Dare!"

Mizu began to bang her head on the wall muttering 'why me' over and over.

"Okay, truth. Who do you like?"

Mizu blushed and said something really quietly.

"Can't hear you Mizu-chan…"

"I said Kiba!"

The girls all squealed happily and Ino added, "You guys would make such a cute couple!!"

Mizu grumbled under her breath and rolled her eyes. "So, just get on with the dare..."

"Okay…I dare you to go knock on his door and visit him!!"

--------------

Mizu jumped from foot to foot, cursing the cold ground and knocked on Kiba's door. After a few moments it widened and Kiba peeked out.

"Hey Mizu-chan. Why're you here?" He asked curiously. Mizu shook her head.

"Can I come inside? It's cold out here..." She requested, her teeth chattering.

"Sure."

When she walked through the door there were a few wolf-whistles and someone yelled "Ohh Kiba! Nice choice in girls."

Mizu gave Naruto, Gaara, Shikamaru, Sasuke and Neji death glares, and Kiba grinned apologetically.

"Sorry, my sister and mom are out of town, and they're staying over."

Mizu shrugged it off as he led her upstairs. They sat at the balcony in silence for a few moments before Mizu spoke.

"Ehm…sorry about before…." She said quietly. Kiba smiled softly at her and she blushed.

"No problem. I feel better now I guess."

Mizu Smiled back and they sat in silence for a bit longer. Then Kiba turned to her nervously.

"Hey…uh…M-Mizu-chan? Can I tell you something?"

Mizu nodded quizzically as he moved closer to her.

The girls all squealed again as Mizu let herself back in, blushing and breathing heavily. Her makeup was smudged, her hair messed up, and twigs stuck out of her hair at odd angles.

"What happened?" Haruka asked, getting in her face- while eating a muffin. Mizu grinned.

"I'm sworn to secrecy..." She said mischievously. The girls squealed again.

"Ohmegawd!" Ino shouted. "You guys kissed didn't you!!"

Mizu simply blushed and shook her head no.

"WHAT!"

"No…we smashed pie in the guys' faces." She said slyly. The girls all rolled their eyes while Tenten began to laugh.

_Well…I'm partially telling them the truth…_

**_Flashback_ **

_Mizu and Kiba sat in the tree, laughing their butts off as Neji, Naruto, and Gaara looked around for them on the ground, pie hanging off their faces. Suddenly Naruto licked the cream off his face and shouted._

_"Hey! It tastes like ramen!"_ _The other two just sweat-dropped. Kiba turned to Mizu, grinning._

_"You know, most other girls wouldn't do something like that." He muttered, quiet so they three on the ground wouldn't hear him. Mizu shrugged and smiled._

_"I guess I'm not much like other girls then." She replied, and as she said it, his face drew closer. Suddenly he kissed her. She squeaked in surprise, flailing her arms-_ _And fell out of the tree, falling on top of Neji. He groaned, his face being ground into the dirt. Mizu grinned._

_"Thanks for breaking my fall Neji!"_ _He groaned again and Kiba peered down anxiously from the tree._ Note to self…never kiss a girl in a tree…._ He thought, embarrassed. Naruto began to laugh._

_"I guess you ARE a really bad kisser Kiba!" He shouted upwards. Kiba ducked back into the tree, hiding his face. Realizing her advantage, Mizu smiled mischievously. _

_"So…Neji…who _do _you like?" _

_Neji put on the classic stoic, heroic face and said nothing. _

_"I'll dig this combat boot into your back if you don't tell me…" _

_Neji whimpered. "Tenten." _

_"Good boy. Now…what's the combination to the lock on your house?" _

_"102889" He muttered, scowling at this blow to his pride. Mizu grinned. _Time to go…_she thought. Removing her knee from his back she stood up, brushed herself off, waved to the boy who was hiding in the tree and ran like crazy. _

(A/n…seems like the 'longest day..' longest authors note and the longest flashback!)

**_End Flashback _**

"Oh, Tenten?"

Tenten glanced up at Mizu. "Yeah?"

"Well…Mr. 'I got estrogen put in my drink' loves you."

It took a moment for her to process the thought and then her eyes widened. _How did she know? Does she know I have his diary? _Swallowing her fear, Tenten turned to the brunette.

"How d'you know? She asked, her voice quivering. Mizu smirked maliciously.

"I do enjoy torture…" Seeing Tenten's freaked out face she threw her hands in the air as if surrendering and added quickly, "I had my combat boot in his back. I swear I didn't kill him. I just got information"

At that she relaxed slightly though she was still slightly worried about her biggest secret being revealed. Mizu interrupted her thoughts, whispering what happened to her best friend. Haruka began to laugh her butt off.

"That's classic….just classic." She gasped, wiping her eyes. "Who was the worse kisser, you or Kiba?"

Mizu glared at her. "Neither of us were bad kissers…I was just surprised! In fact…umm….oh…nevermind"

"Sure Meez, Sure."

Mizu glared even more angrily at her.

"Okay, Haruka. So, Truth, Dare, or Electric Chair? "

Haruka grinned madly. "Electric chair man. Electric chair...!"

"Truth. Do you like someone?" Temari came up with the truth question.

Haruka thought for a moment. "Yeah."

"Who is it?" Temari asked.

She smiled "You simply asked if I liked someone. I said yes. I don't have to answer your other question. So HA!"

Temari grumbled under her breath while the other girls laughed. Haruka winked.

"Loopholes dear Watson, loopholes."

Sakura blinked. "Isn't it 'Elementary dear Watson'?"

In response, the Uchiha shrugged. "Same thing. Dare me. Now."

This time Mizu laughed. "Okay, I dare you to sing 'Barbie Girl'."

Haruka shrugged again. "Fine."

"But first…you have to call the boys and invite them over."

This time Haruka glared at her. "You really are evil Mizu, you know that?"

Mizu smiled in response. "Joy."

Minutes later the guys were there all wondering what the heck was going on. Then Haruka scowled and walked in front of them.

_I'm a Barbie Girl in a Barbie world _

Everyone looked horrified at the song choice and Gaara dived under a pillow screaming something about the lyrics burning his ears. At that moment Sasuke tackled Haruka putting a hand over her mouth.

"Noo! My cousin can't sing that! She'll disgrace the clan's name!"

There was an awkward silence following this, which Naruto broke by yelling "Awkward silence! A gay baby was born!"

(a/n: I have nothing against gay people. But that always makes me laugh!)

While later, while everyone was sleeping, guys included, Ino crept toward Tenten.

"Tenten…we never got to your dare."

Tenten moaned and flipped over. "Whaaaattt?"

"Follow us"

Rubbing her eyes she followed them out and down the road to a large lot of giant houses. Stopping at one a figure, assumed to be Mizu, stopped by the lock and quickly picked it. They tiptoed upstairs and stopped at a door with an unreadable nameplate. "The code is 102889" Someone whispered.

"Okay…your dare…is to paint this room pink with us." Ino spoke softly. Tenten sighed.

"Fine." She said, not knowing whose room it was. When they finished half an hour later they were all covered in paint.

"Can we go now? I'm –yawn- tired…" Tenten muttered mumbled.

"Yah…One sec." Ino whispered back and disappeared into the room. When she came back out she had a darker pink brush in hand and was grinning.

"Now run!"

As they ran out they saw a dark figure walking down the street. He saw them and shouted. "Hey! You! What are kids doing on the Hyuuga estate!"

The girls just ran faster and he didn't give a chase. They all fell into their beds laughing quietly so they didn't wake anyone up. But one person wasn't in their bed.

Neji snuck slowly through the window of Tenten's bedroom. This was the last house he had to search for his precious diary. Opening a draw he stared at the skirt.

_Tenten has a skirt? Odd… _

He picked it up and examined it in one hand. Shrugging he glanced back in the draw and saw a small book. Squinting, he read the cover.

**_Diary of Tenten. DO EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING IT YOU PERVE!!! But…I hate the skirt. So take that. _**

_Well…I might as well obey her orders and take the skirt…WAIT! What the! TENEN..HAS A DIARY!!! OMG! IT'S THE APACALYPSE!!!! AHHH!!! _

**_Wait…calm Neji…calm….just bring it home and read it…it's not the apocalypse…CALM BOY!! Good….I'l give you a cookie when we get home. _**

_Erm…who the heck are you? _

**_Well….Luke….I am your father! _**

Neji sweat dropped _My names not Luke _

**_-Sigh- I'm your inner self…you just had to ruin my fun didn't you? –sigh again- Just go…home –sob- _**

Neji blinked but obeyed his 'inner self' and flew out the window.

**_WEEHEEE!!! I FEEL LIKE SUPERMAN!!! _**

_

* * *

_

_Okay, everyone thank SassyPants for the idea about Neji getting Tenten's diary! Hehe Your review made me laugh! So did He-Didn't-Betray-Us and everyone else! So this chapter is dedicated to my reviewers lol _

_R+R! _

_Oh, and if you like this put the word Spaz in your review somewhere lol _

_I always wanted to do that _

_I'll leave now…._

_Feareth the Spaz Kitty OUT!_

_See ya next time! _


	4. ANOTHER AUTHORS NOTE!

Ello Poppetts! Lol

Hey, I don't mean to be rude in asking this, but because I lack in the artistic department- my bro got those genes XD

Well, I was wonderin' if any of you reviewers think you're a decent artist, if you want to draw some pictures for the story…?

If you can, THANKS!

Peace Out

Feareth the Kitty

Preview words for what I have planned for next chappie!

Rabid raccoons…Neji's butt….Tasers, machine guns, Metal bats, rocket launchers, Gaara's sand, masks, Sasuke eating tomato lollipops and being happy, Mizu threatening people with large swords, and…skirts….Tenten's skirt to be exact.

PS: THE DOCUMENT UPLOADER IS NOW WORKING! But...the fanfic notices aren't

Hey, if you guys ever wanna talk to me outside fanfic, PM me and I might give you my E-mail and AIM


	5. In Which we Have RAbid Raccoonsboxers

Okay…I'm sorry about not ipdating…but my mom has been going CRAZY lately. It's bad enough that we don't exactly 'agree' with each other a lot of the time, but now she's trying to get me stay off the computer! ARGGHHH….so I wrote this crap- I mean chapter in one day, because I felt REALLY bad for not updating. So, here you go. It's not great (my 'muse', SassyOMG2282, is in Maine and she makes me write funny things) but the best I could get out at the moment.

Eh…on a happier subject, WHY IS EVERYONE OUT OF THEIR HOME STATES THIS WEEKEND!!!????

Hehe don't mind that. Just SassyOMG is in Maine, and three of my friends got to go up to New Hampshire to play in a soccer tournament…lucky them –sigh- well…everyone say good luck J.P., Jake, and Brian! Lol

Disclaimer: why must I always do this? Me no own

Oh, I'll be updating faster in three weeks…I only have 17 days left of school. Then...VACATION BABY!

* * *

Chapter –gasp- FOUR!

Neji yawned, stretching, as he entered the Hyuuga compound, and climbed the stairs to his room, bleary-eyed. Last night after he had gotten back from Tenten's had been crazy. They had woken up the girls- by accident. Not the _smartest _thing to do. Ino, Sakura, and Haruka had chased them around Konoha, while Tenten simply glared. Much worse than…. well…anything.

Kinda like the time Gaara's raccoon got rabies and, in its death throes, decided to take Neji's underpants with him to hell. God, that was one evil raccoon.

_Flashback_

**_Neji walked down the brick paved road, whistling happily. He screamed when he felt something latch onto his butt. Glancing behind him he saw a large fluffy, over groomed, dark red with what seemed to be eyeliner on it's face and a foaming mouth. It glared at him for a moment before digging through his pants with rather sharp claws. He screamed again, sounding like a small girl who took three types of steroids and a low level beaver tranquilizer. In fact, he swore he saw some of those items mentioned in Hanabi's bathroom cabinet._**

**Wait…. when I borrowed her toothpaste…God. I took…a Steroid? WTF? Why the heck did I swallow the toothpaste again?**

**_Anyway…then there was an engine sound. Out of a bright red hummer, jumped two figures, one with dark red hair wearing a gourd on his back, and the other having pitch black hair and wearing a large, double-bladed sword/ axe on her back. They were both wearing safari looking clothes._**

**_Haruka grinned, setting a shotgun barrel down on the ground, then picked it up. Neji's eyes widened._**

"_A-are you going to shoot me?" He asked, looking scared. Haruka rolled her eyes._

"_No, you idiot! We're after Brigadier General Dictator Commander Captain Admiral Sergeant- Some Other Titles I don't Remember- FUZZLE-KINS!"_

_Banging the barrel on her hand, she scowled. "Gaara! You got the wrong shotgun! This one is stuck!"_

_Neji blinked. _Whaaaat?

_Gaara sighed, digging through the trunk of the Hummer. Apparently finding what he wanted, he tossed a second shotgun to Haruka. She twirled around matrix style and dramatically banged the barrel on her hand. A tiny object fell out. Neji blinked._

_"You needed a shotgun just to hold that?" he asked, confused. Haruka scowled again._

_"It LOOKS cooler." She complained. Gaara sighed._

_"Just do it Haruka...," he muttered. Haruka shrugged and after aiming, shot him with something. Neji screamed and his hair stood on end as he was electrocuted._

_"Damn!" Haruka yelled. "I missed the raccoon!"_

_"THAT WAS A FRIGGIN' TASER!!!!!!" Neji screamed, holding his ass like a beloved teddy bear. Haruka nodded._

_"Duuuuuhhh. What else would it be?"_

_She dug in the trunk again and pulled out a metal bat._

_"Okay Neji stand still," she warned, inching closer. Neji fidgeted anxiously._

_"You're not going to- AAOUUCH!" He yelled again. For Haruka had whacked his ass with a metal, mauling, demon possessed, damned to hell malicious BASEBALL BAT!_

_And somehow, she had missed the raccoon. But of course she hit his butt! He whimpered as the pain slowly faded away, only to see Haruka searching._

What next? He groaned.

_Haruka grinned viciously as she pulled a rocket launcher and a machine gun, one in each hand. At this He began to run like crazy, but felt something slowly wrap itself around his foot, tripping him up. He glanced back to see Gaara standing there, one eyebrow (A/n…. wait…. he doesn't HAVE eyebrows…woops) in amusement. Neji growled swearing profanities at the Kazekage._

_"Now Neji, this won't hurt a bit…"_

_**End Flashback**_

Neji's flashback was interrupted as he almost walked into his door. He blinked, shook his head and turned the knob.

And stared in shock.

All of the walls of his 'manly' room had been painted…pink.

Ehh…. how was he going live through his next run in with Naruto, Kiba and Shikamaru?

He groaned again as he turned at the other wall.

In fancy scrawl it declared _**Neji loves Tenten **_surrounded by numerous hearts. The handwriting was Ino's unmistakable elegant hand.

He didn't realize how long he'd been standing until he heard footsteps. They stopped abruptly outside his room.

"Neji…what is going on here?" A deep voice asked.

Neji paled as he spun to see Hiashi-san.

Ouch. This must be awkward Neji. You, the Hyuuga Prodigy, are standing in the middle of a pink room that says 'I heart Tenten' on it and holding a diary and a pink flowy skirt. Mmm…. life is a burnt cookie ain't it?

"Erm…nothing Hiashi-san!" He said (shouted), swallowing the lump in his throat. Hiashi raised an eyebrow but before he could say anything further, Neji slammed the door shut. Hiashi shrugged, knocked on Hinata's door, and watched Neji through the spy camera network she had set up in there.

Neji mumbled under his breath grabbing a kunai and beginning to scrape 'Neji loves Tenten' off the walls. It took him about ten minutes and after, he drew a Dora the Explorer doll out from under his bed and began to beat it viciously. After his anger was spent, he FINALLY picked up the diary, flipping open to the first page. Scanning the first sentence, he blinked. _This is from when we were genin!_

_**Dear Diary…thing…**_

_**Well, what do you **__**want **__**me to say? I guess I'll start with this is boring and I can't believe Sakura got this for me for my B-day. I would rather get like a rock. or a rat…definitely a rat…and then I can name him Stuart! Yeas. That would be perfect…**_

_**Well…. there's this guy and I REALLY like him…. he's SO cool…and he's got this awesome hair…. it's like really long and it reminds me of one of these dolls I had when I was a little kid and it's hair was so much fun to play with and I played with it all the time and I dyed it once and then colored it with marker, but it got all stringy so I started to dream about **_**his **_**hair and then one time I grabbed it and started brushing it and it was so soft and silky and brush able. He looked at me like I was crazy and I got sooo embaressed. Thank god that Iruka-sensei walked in then.**_

_Oh, yeah. His name is Hyuuga Neji._ _Why am I writing this again? God I feel like I'm obsessed, like Sakura and Ino are with Sasuke. Eeewwwww…. (__a/n…I like Sakura and Ino. BUT they ARE obsessed with Sasuke and I imagine Tenten would be a little disgusted with them)_ _Anyway, I'll right again later. I'm gonna go buy a rat. And name it Stuart Sr._ _Umm….bye I guess _

Neji slowly shut the book, savoring the feeling that he had just had. It was like ice-cream in some weird psychological way (made up by Feareth XD) (SassyOMG2282: Life is like ice cream- except ice cream tastes better!)

Of course it took Neji, whom other people fancied as a ladies man, THIS LONG to figure out that Tenten liked him. I mean, Naruto had already figured out that Hinata liked him! It took your SIX YEARS Hyuuga!! SIX YEARS! YES, SIX YEARS! I mean, SIX years! C'mon, SIX YEARS! SIX YEARS!!!!!!!!!! SIX YEARS IT TOOK YOU TO FIGURE IT OUT! AND AFTER SIX YEARS, YOU NEEDED IT IN WRITING!! GOD, I MEAN SIX YEARS!!! AHHHH!!!

Neji sighed, seething at his ranting inner self. _**It's not MY fault I don't understand girls…they're so weird**_

**Well, you could have ASKED HINATA!!! **

_**Hn….she's a girl though**_

Well, then he began to scrub. Amazingly, he found the boxers that Gaara's raccoon had tried to steal and wondered. They had giant FROGS all over them….strange.

_**

* * *

**_

_**With Tenten…**_

Tenten grinned, in an animated conversation with Mizu about the importance of weapons. OF COURSE they were joking around though. Joking around like a kangaroo on steroids. NO Idea where that came from…

Well, ANYWAY, at that moment Kiba, Naruto and Haruka ran up to them, laughing hysterically.

"Guys! You HAVE to see this!" Naruto shouted. "It's Teme! You gotta see it!" He grabbed Tenten's hand, pulling her along. Kiba and Haruka did the same to Mizu.

They reached a clearing at last, and Kiba clapped a hand over Mizu's mouth before she could laugh. Well, then he wouldn't remove it so when everyone only saw him draw it back, an 'EEEWWW!' look on his face. But NOBODY knew why. In truth, Mizu had bitten his hand. Wonderful Mizu, just wonderful.

Well, anyway, they saw 'teme' meaning Sasuke, sitting on a bench in the middle of the park…but them, and only then, did he turn around. Well, Haruka's cousin (dubbed 'Emo-kid') was laughing like a five-year old and sucking on a lollipop. But then….he took the lollipop out and…it was a TOMATO FLAVORED LOLLIPOP! (what is it with me an capital letters today?)

Sakura, who had absolutely no idea what was going on, walked into the park in oblivion. She screamed when she Sasuke with a lollipop, and Sasuke simply stood there awkwardly, lollipop in hand. Everyone in the trees (Naruto, Tenten, Kiba, Haruka, Mizu, Temari, Kankurou, Gaara, Hana- Kiba's older sis in the show- Itachi, Kisame, and Kakashi) fell out laughing. And of COURSE Itachi fell on top of Sasuke. They stared at eachother before shouting at eachother in unison.

"WEASEL!!!"

"Chicken butt hair…"

"Stupid brother….! I'm gonna. 'M gonna tell the Hokage on you!"

"Foolish little brother."

"Why must you always SAY that! My god it gets so annoying….hey. wait…Itachi…why are you wearing disco-pants?"

Itachi's eyes widened. "No I'm not! I swear!"

Then he ran…Kisame raised an eyebrow. "I can see the relationship between them is so loving…" He said, snapping a picture of Itachi's disco pants.

Tenten shook her head. "This village is _messed up." _She muttered. "At least I have something to write in my diary about now though…"

_**When she arrived home…**_

"

* * *

_**With Neji…**_

Neji winced as Tenten's voice rang out. Then, through the window jumped a raccoon.

A rabid raccoon.

Gaara's rabid raccoon to be exact.

It stared at Neji for one long moment, its eyes resting on his butt. Then its mouth foamed and it leapt at him.

Temari sniffed condescendingly. "That'll teach him not to steal people's diaries."

* * *

Wow….I dun like this chapter…it's just not funny. And it's really confoozling…-sigh-…oh well….read and review. 


	6. In Which Temari and Tenten have revenge!

Thank you people who reviewed! I'm sorry I havn't responded, I've been busy and havn't been able to respond to many. Don't hurt me!

Oh, and everyone hug the person who voulenteered to do artwork for me! you rock XxPifflexXxPrincessxX

Yay

I've been writing ranodom little HP (Harry Potter) chapters too, because I'm so excited about the last book, and the OotP movie, so I've been writing little things etc.

I swear, I'll TRY to have the next chapter up...at somepoint...I hope XD

Disclaimer: ACCCHHHHHHH -sighs- I don't own Naruto...

* * *

Tenten covered a gasp as Neji limped into the clearing, his face covered with scratches and bruises. He looked like he'd been through a war! She thought, eyeing him with concern.

"Neji! What happened to you! You look like Lee that time he got drunk and beat up because he tried to grope-"

At that moment Lee ran towards her, clapping a hand over her mouth. "Shush Tenten! Do not ruin my innocent youth, or Neji's poor virgin ears!"

Tenten, glaring, propelled a foot backwards, kicking him where the sun don't shine. "Do not do that ever again Lee! And I mean NEVER! You were trying to grope me weren't you! Now I know why they call you 'the Green Monster of Konoha'! You sexually harass people!" She screamed, beating him up. She then turned to Neji, smiling calmly.

"So, what _did _happen Neji-kun?" She asked serenely. Neji blinked at her change of mood.

"I- Um…. I was attacked by a rabid raccoon." He said quickly, for fear she would think him crazy. Tenten giggled.

"Really? What happened, really." She asked.

"I got attacked by a raccoon."

"Neji…"

"Damn you woman, I got attacked by a friggin' raccoon."

Tenten began to fume. "God damnit Neji! What the hell happened?"

"I got attacked by a rabid raccoon!"

When Gai walked in moments later, they were having a violent sissy-fight.

"What is the meaning of the taint of youth that is fighting?!?!?!?!?!?" he shouted. Tenten sniffed condescendingly.

"Neji claims he was attacked by a _raccoon." _She muttered. Neji glared.

"But I WAS!!!!!!" he shouted. Gai looked at him apprehensively.

"Neji, I thought you quit taking those drugs…they are bad for you…." He said sternly.

"Yeah, they do make you hallucinate Neji-_kun." _Tenten interjected.

"Damn you all! I'm not on drugs!"

Gai sighed. "As much as I hate to say it, this is a case for my eternal rival, Hatake Kakashi."

---------

Kakashi rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Moody, hallucinating, and emotional, you say?" he asked Gai. The team was waiting outside.

Gai nodded, and Kakashi placed a consoling hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry to tell you this Gai but….I'm afraid Neji has gotten a sex change."

Gai promptly gasped in horror, and fled out the door. At that precise moment, Sasuke emerged from under a table.

"Here you go," He said with an evil grin. Kakashi pocketed the fifty dollars with a smirk, already planning on buying that new icha-icha book.

Yes, Sasuke does hold a grudge against Neji.

---------------

Gai clutched Neji close, sobbing on his shoulder.

"It saddens me N-Neji, that you felt you had t-to make such a decision!" He bawled, soaking Neji's shirt. Neji twitched slightly.

"What is going on in your senile mind, old man?" He asked, glaring.

"W-why Neji-kun, ….or should I say, Neji-chan, you got a sex change!"

"WHAT!" He exploded, while Tenten burst into howls of laughter. "I DID NOT get a sex change!" he shouted, extracting himself from Gai's grip.

Gai shook his head sadly. "I know it's hard Neji, dealing with the female pains, and that your in denial. But soon, you will come to terms with what has happened." His eyes shone. "And then- you can marry Lee! And have mini-youthful- Lee –babies!"

At that, Tenten began to choke from lack of air, from laughing so much, and was turning blue. Neji's face turned red.

"For the last time I DID NOT get a sex change!" He screamed. But Gai was too absorbed in dreams of prancing mini-Lees.

------------------------

As Lee extended a foot to kick Neji in the stomach, Gai called out.

"Oh, Lee you can't hit a girl!" He shouted, causing Tenten to start laughing again.

"I AM NOT A GIRL!! I CAN PROVE IT!!!"

At that Tenten paled. "Oh dear Lord," She whispered "Please don't Neji, you teme!" She shouted, looking horrified.

Just then, a hand reached out and grabbed her.

"We- I mean I'm just going to borrow Tenten for a moment Gai-san" A voice that sounded oddly like Temari shouted.

"Alright then!" Gai responded, not bothering to see who it was. Tenten rolled her eyes. _Wow, I feel so loved. He doesn't even bother to see if it's a sound-nin attacking me!_

Lo and Behold, the person was Temari! She stopped in a clearing, and there stood Kankurou and Gaara.

"And…why am I here, and what the heck is going on?" Tenten asked, confused.

Temari smirked. "You know how your diary was stolen?"

"Yeeeesssss….." Tenten said cautiously.

"Well, Neji took it. So we're going to have revenge on him!" Temari declared.

"Are you serious?!?!?? HE took my diary?!" She cracked her knuckles threateningly. "Oh, Hyuuga, you area GOING DOWN!"

Temari grinned. "Glad you're getting into the spirit."

"But…why is Gaara here."

Gaara's eyes flashed. "He _hurt Fluffle-kinz! He __**must **_DIE!" 

"Fluffle-kinz is his pet raccoon." Temari explained.

"Oh. Okay then." Tenten smiled.

"I already set Fluffle-kinz rabid brother, Fuzzle-kinz on him last night through his window…"

"Alright then, let's get started with revenge!" Tenten said excitedly.

Alright, here's the chapter! I know, I know, it's really short, I'm sorry! It's just, I tried really hard to getthis up today, and this is a lead for the next chapter P

I've also been obsessing over Harry Potter lately, and am writing a fanfic (cough- that had not plot -cough cough) for it...so don'r hurt me!!!!!!!!!!

Well, till next time

-Feareth the Kitty


	7. In Which We Have A WEBSITE!

I'm _baaaaacccccccckkkkk XD_

You guys can't _believe _how sorry I am for pretty much abandoning this story...I kinda took a break from fanfic for the summer, and the first half of the semester...But hey, I'm BACK! -nod nod-

I was typing like a fiend today, trying to get this chapter up- that's why the quality kinda sucks. Ah well. I'm aiming to have the next chapter up in 1 or 2 weeks, so keep you eyes open. (I give you guys permision to shoot me if I don't update within the next month)

But, If i don't...It'll probably because I got like ten flipping projects to do...NOW ON WITH THE STORY!

I say this every chapter- but seriously, this chappie in particular IS NOT FUNNY! Ech. Mein Gott.

**Disclaimer: ...**

**I.**

**Don't.**

**Own.**

**Naruto.**

**but.**

**I.**

**Kinda.**

**Own.**

**This. **

**Story.**

**yeah.**

* * *

Tenten sighed, picking at her sheets. _Revenge. Must. Have. Revenge. Must humiliate and or kill the uber-hot Neji. Revenge. My precious Revenge. _

It had been two days since Temari, Gaara, and Kankuro had showed up, and amazingly none of them had been able to exact a plan for the ever famous revenge. (Sasuke: -gasps- REVENGE! LE GASPE! How could you Feareth? I thought _I _was the avenger! Feareth: -sigh-) Well, no one except Gaara had been able to, but they decided _not _to go through with his horror-movie-reminiscent, overly-gory, terror plot. It just was a little too far.

So anyway, they couldn't think of a single thing, besides boring holes in and or cutting off Neji's limbs, which they decided to pass on. She sighed again, rolled over off her bed, and into her computer chair. Maybe she could Google it….

Flipping up to the address bar, she typed in Google. Once there…well…she had no idea how to spell "revenge". Cocking her head to the side, she frowned.

"It's gotta start with an 'r' right? Or…maybe an 'E'? Wait! R…E….V…E…N…G…um…Y?"

Typing in 'revengy' she pressed search. At the top of the page, it said '_**Did you mean **__**Revenge?**_**' **Tenten grinned, and snapped her fingers.

"Yes, that's it!"

The first site was something about rescuing Monkey Pajama blood…

The second site was about hiring cross-dressing hairdressers.

The third was surprise, surprise, a Fanclub registry site.

But the fourth…oh the fourth. _That _was the jackpot.

_101 Ways to Humiliate Your Over-Arrogant, Self-Centered Brat-like, Angsty, Sex-change-getting, Emotionless, closet Pervert, naïve, Girly, Uber Hot, 'Superior', Destiny-Obsessed, Skirt Stealing, Uncaring, Long Haired, Teammate _

Tenten pumped her fist in victory, a very Gai like move. "SWEET!" She shouted, startling her next door neighbor, grandma like figure.

"Tenten?" The old woman stuck her graying head out of her window. "Are you all right dear?" She asked.

Tenten stuck her head out too, and in response shouted. "I am _better _than okay! I'm getting REVENGE! On the hottest guy on the planet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The older woman shook her head. "Younglings these days. In my day, we called it blackmail." She mused. "Perhaps young Tenten would like some help? She seems so young and inexperienced…and I _do _have my own blackmail website…"

---

Tenten sighed, scrolling down the heaven-sent site. It had _great _ideas, but she didn't really want to hurt Neji _that _much. Hey, she had a conscience! A rather stupid, morally wrong one, but it decided to go all holier-than-thou recently- meaning when she had attempted to dye Lee's hair green and yellow, it had stopped, only allowing her to do the back bright yellow. But apparently, it had nothing against shaving, so she shaved the message 'Neji is my hero, and I absolutely love Sasuke' on the back of his head.

_56. Dye his hair yellow and pink…_

No! It wouldn't work…She had already tried, and Neji had installed cameras EVERYWHERE in his house. The guy was seriously paranoid, almost rivaling Sasuke.

She sighed, banging her head repeatedly against the desk.

"Tenten honey! You don't look well, so I baked you some muffins!" The grandma lady called out, in her tiny sing-song voice. Tenten, her feet sounding like a stampede as she pounded down the stairs, threw open the door, and the grandma, Keiko, stepped quickly inside.

"Now, who are you planning revenge on?" She asked. Tenten grinned.

"Neji Hyuuga." She responded. "Follow me for a sec," and they both dashed upstairs.

"fifty-seven." Tenten read, plopping back down in her computer chair. "Make up a blackmail website." She paused for a moment.

"Keiko, how are you at web design?" She asked.

"Are you kidding honey? I _invented _website!" She shouted, and Tenten sweat-dropped. _Man…that's almost equal to Al Gore saying he invented the internet…Unless…did she invent web design? Ach! Everything I know is turning upside down! Help me Stuart! Or are you Mussolini? IM SO CONFUSED. _

She was drawn out of her reverie, when Keiko shoved her out of the chair. "Move it! I'm going to make it!" Keiko shouted, and Tenten stared at her.

"Did he steal your diary by any chance?" The elderly woman asked, and Tenten glanced towards the draw that had hosued the said book.

"Yeah." She muttered. "He took my skirt too."

"Alright…now go be a dear and make us some tea."

Pretty much _freaked out ,_Tenten did as she was told, before picking up the phone.

"Temaaarriiii-chan." She whined. "My neighbor is setting up a website."

The said kuniochi sounded like she had just woken up. "meeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh…..why the hell should I care?" She said, before it turned into a yawn.

"It's a website to humiliate Neji…" Tenten responded. There was a rustling noise, and a slamming. In the background, she faintly her someone scream '_Kankuro! Get you ass out of bed! We're going to see Tenten!' _And then there was a silence. _'No, Gaara! You CANNOT bring your torture instruments.' _Another silence. _Fine, your goddamn raccoon can come. Let's Go!' _

"We'll be right there Tenten-chan!" Said the now perky, morning-person Temari. The line then went dead, and Tenten stared in confusion at the phone. _Damn, _She thought, _and I thought us Konoha shinobi were overly-violent. _

"Keiko-san? Have you started- dear god!" Tenten shouted. Keiko gave an innocent smile.

"I did a little photo editing, and the site is starting to look like maybe an amateur did it." The woman said, and Tenten choked on the tea.

"_AMATEUR?" _She yelled. "This is…it's crazy! I was gone for _five minutes, _and you get _this _done?" Keiko simply nodded.

On the screen was a picture of Neji looking shifty, a book and skirt in hand. Underneath it was the headline '_He's Handsome. He's respected. He's also a thief, and a pervert. Do you really want your children looking up to this fiend?' _and under that… '_Enter the site that uncovers the truth about __Neji Hyuuga' _

"I _told _you I was uber-1337 at designing pwning websites, ffs." Keiko said, pouting. Tenten simply stared (not for the first- or last- time that day…). _Why the hell is she talking in chat-speak? _

"Tenten! OPEN UP!" Temari shouted, and after a moment of silence, there was something that sounded like an explosion. "GAARA! I told you not to bring the weapons!"

"…sorry…" Gaara muttered, as the trio walked up the stairs.

"Are those muffins?" Kankuro asked, and leapt upon the basket, stuffing his mouth. Temari sighed, and then whacked him in the back of his head with her fan. He choked on the muffins.

"Ouch much?" He said, glaring. "That's METAL! METAL HURTS WHEN YOU HIT SOME ONE ON THE HEAD WITH IT!"

"…your point being?" Temari asked. Gaara interrupted at this point, with;

"Meaning, I would have wanted to hit him," The dark teen growled. Temari smiled.

"Sorry Gaara! Here you go!" She said, and handed the fan to him. He smiled and then swung.

"No! WAIT! STO-" At this point Kankuro slumped over, unconscious, and possibly dead. Gaara shrugged and propped the fan against Tenten's bed. It was all Tenten could do to keep bolting out of the door, right then and there.

_I'm stuck in a house with crazy people. I'm stuck in a house with crazy people. I'm stuck in a house with crazy people. _

_**Honey, face it. Everyone's crazy. Including me! insert evil laugh here **_

_I've got a crazy person in my head…wait, that's me…._I'm _crazy!!! MEIN GOTT!!!!!! _

At this opint, Tenten was spazzing out, and everyone was staring at her, as she hyper-ventilated. Looking bored, Gaara raised Temari's fan again, before Temari smacked his hand.

"No Gaara!"

He put the fan back down, looking sad, and then- FEARETH APPEARED!!!!!

No, not really.

And then, Keiko, turned around.

"Alright! I'm finished! Oh and Tenten- he is a cross-dresser, right? I was flipping through your back-up diary here…."

"Y-yeah…_how did you find that?" _She shouted, and Keiko shrugged.

"You're not exactly great at hiding things Tenten-chan…" She said. Tenten sighed, and flopped over onto her bed.

"why does everyone keep telling me that? I thought under the bed was perfect…I mean, I tried the fire, but then it burned."

"No way, really?" Temari asked sarcastically.

"Yeah! I mean, who would've thought, ne?" Tenten laughed, being completely serious. There was one huge, unanimous sweatdrop, even from Kankuro, who was probably dead.

"Tenten, maybe you should…lie down or something. You're not talking sense…" Keiko said, going back to regular grandmother.

"Talking sense….what the hell do you mean by that?"

Keiko lightly slapped her forehead. "I mean shut up and go to sleep kid." She snarled, and Temari looked shocked.

"Who _is _this lady Tenten? She looks like one of those classic grandmothers, but seriously, she's like child of Satan or something…"

"What you don't know won't hurt you." Keiko muttered in a mysterious voice.

"Whaaaaaa? You _are _the child of Satan?" Temari asked, and Keiko narrowed.

"No, you idiot! I mean I'm just a weird, cruel, Sadistic person."

"Oh."

"Now that you idiot- I mean, dears, have quieted down, I have put our site on the web. I also hacked into Konoha's official website, and placed a link to it there, claiming it is a list of 'Most Honorable People'."

"Are you sure you're not the child of some sadist?"

"…."

Keiko was saved the trouble of answering when the doorbell rang.

"Tenten! Get it!"

As if in a trance, the said girl ran downstairs, and pulled the door open to see:

The one

The only

The Emo

The- no, no, not Neji.

SASUKE UCHIHA!

"Erm…hi." Sasuke muttered, shifting from foot to foot awkwardly.

"Yo."

"I heard you wanted to humiliate Neji?" He asked, and Tenten nodded, confused. He quickly shoved a manila envelope into her hands, before taking off, seeking shelter in the neighbor's rose bush (and promptly emitting a scream upon being pricked by hundreds of thorns).She shrugged, and opened it up, gaping as pictures slid into her hands.

Neji, dressed up as a ballerina.

Neji, letting Hanabi do his make-up.

Neji, sitting among small children.

Neji, wearing ribbons in his hair.

"Where did Sasuke _get _these?" She wondered out loud, before shaking her head. "No, I _don't _want to know."

"KEIKO! KEIKO-SAN!"

---------------

Hiashi smirked as he surfed the Konoha website, and saw the link titled 'Konoha's Most Honorable People'. Well of _course _he would be at the _top _of such a list.

He promptly clicked it, and his eyes widened.

"_**NEJI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**_

* * *

So, that's that...RUN NEJI, RUN!!!!!!!!! 

So, read and review? Pwetty Pwease? It makes Feareth Feel Happy XD

-Feareth the kity


	8. Author's Note

I guess you guys probably saw this coming, between all the slow updates and everything, but I'm putting this story on hiatus for a while. I really am sorry, but I've run out of steam on this, and have lost interest. I'll try to come back to this at some point, but the extreme hyperness of the story is kinda hard for me to write now, since I'm going through some tough crap.

I'm not swearing off FF in general though. I'll just be writing more 'serious' stories, since that's pretty much all I _can _write at the moment. I do have some planned, for Naruto, and Warcraft, and I'll try to post them at some point, so you can keep your eyes open for those, if you want

Again, I apologize…I'll probably be taking this fic down within a few days, unless you guys want me to keep it up.

-Feareth the Kitty


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